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PERFECTION THROUGH IMPERFECTION; THAT THING I TRULY DISLIKE ABOUT MYSELF


Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

There I sit, in front of my newly purchased iMac, looking at these photos on a very big screen… On first looks I love them, but the longer I look, the more I’m starting to dislike them. There’s something that keeps bothering me… In fact, it kept me from posting these images for way too long. If I would tell you, which I will in a little bit, you might say “no biggie,” but for me, it is a biggie much. Ever since I can remember looking at myself, that’s all I can see.

For a little bit I thought, let’s just retouch it. Not because of you, nor to make things seem “perfect”, but for myself, to make me feel better. I mean, you know I never really intend to make things look “better”, slimmer, or taller than they are. What you see it the real me. Good or bad, but in the last case, then usually with a pair of sunglasses on.

I HATE it, and it runs in the family, so I’m just screwed I guess. And of course, there’s a ton of doctors in New York who could potentially help me make it “better”, but “coulda, woulda, shoulda”? Maybe I should just stick to wearing my sunglasses to hide the bags under my eyes… Or is the fact that they are truly my biggest insecurity, a good enough reason to see a doctor? Is seeing a doctor for that a bad thing?

Anyway, so I first thought not to publish these images at all. Then of course I didn’t want that to do that, because I love the look, and everything around it – apart from those bags under my eyes… I could have retouched the shit out of them, which would have ruined the images, so not an option either. Increase exposure, less contrast… No, totally erases the mood of the images…

So here I am, bare “naked”, with the result of sleepless nights – two kids and a business does keep me up sometimes – and unlucky genes in they eye-section, but I’m just taking it in. Trying not to be bothered by it, trying to see the beauty, not the one thing I hate. It’s not easy, but I feel I have to, as it’s part of me. I’m not going to lie, if there is a way to get rid of them I probably would – and trust me, it’s not more sleep, and it’s not more water – but until then, I will TRY to embrace them as much as I embrace all the other bags in my room…

And of course, the fact I was wearing my dream coat from Chanel that day, the cutest little Dior bag, and was on my way to the Dior FW17 show, made up for all the bags ever been under my eyes #FACT

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Charlotte Groeneveld Thefashionguitar after Dior FW17 in Paris

Chanel coat | Dior t-shirt | Dior bag | Dior jewelry | Vetements shoes | 3×1 denim.



Photos by Jeff Thibodeau & Edward Berthelot


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